We decided to try and go back to bed. Scott fell asleep, I read a talk, read a book, folded some laundry, reorganized Ethan's dresser, tried to sleep, failed, walked around my house aimlessly, tried to sleep. All in an hour! lol. Because at 6:30 the hospital called and said to head up at 7! The game was back on and we were ready to go when Nicole got to my house to stay with my girls.
Ready to go! I look so fat! lol
We got to the hospital and answered all the same questions they asked when I pre-registered. Still not sure what that's all about...My nurse for the day was finishing a C-section, so I had a gal who was taking care of me until she was finished. I told her that my worst fear is the IV and that I tend to get light-headed but that I should be fine if I laid down, etc. She then proceeded to put in my IV...and she blew a vein. I seriously was so uncomfortable. I got SUPER hot and I could not get comfortable. I squirmed and rolled, scrunched into a ball and back out, blankets on, blankets off. I was miserable. I asked her to get some hot blankets and wrap my arms so that the veins would get bigger and easier to find, which she did. Then my labor nurse got done and came in and put it in on the first try. It was the fastest IV I've ever had. The placement was a little funny (on top of my wrist) but I got used to it.
Then all I felt was tired. I'd slept pretty well the night before and had felt physically the best I've ever felt at 39 weeks pregnant, but at that point all I could do was sleep. I was super drowsy. It was really odd. My doctor came in and tried to break my water but Ethan had moved farther up than he had been at my last appointment so he couldn't quite reach it. He said to start pitocin and then he would come back at 11:00 or so to try again. I was a little disheartened that things had seemed to move backwards but decided to just go with it. Then about 5 minutes after he left, my water broke on it's own. Or, more likely, he snagged it and it just popped. At this point we realized that there was meconium present. Great. I was immediately apprehensive. My nurse explained that if he came out crying all was good. If not, they would immediately take him to the warmer and suck him out and give him oxygen and that there was a small chance that he would have to go to NICU for observation and oxygen. Addy was meconium as well and everything was fine so I kept telling myself that this would be the same. I really DID NOT want to send Ethan to NICU.
I started feeling contractions. And then challenged Scott to a game of bananagrams. I almost always win this game. I'm quite competitive and often try to find personal challenges for myself to make things more interesting when I do win. You know, like no exchanging letters no matter what or no two letter words etc. :) Anyway, my contractions started getting really firm, but I had to win! So we finished up (at a tie, as I was breathing through a contraction) and then I said, "Ok! Epidural time!"
Half hour later, at 10:30 I was getting my 6th epidural (2 each with Addy and Ellie and one with Grace), and it was by far the most painful one. The guy who did it was a resident, graduating next week or something stupid like that. I wasn't too happy about it but I figured if it was that or nothing I'd let him take a whack at it. Seriously. It was awful. He marked the spot that he was going to go with his finger nail and then his pen and I seriously was clawing Scott's neck because he was hurting me so badly! Then he numbed me up and then he started and it was seriously miserable. My contractions were killing me. It was back labor, which I haven't had before so my whole body was killing me. Between that and him taking forever and sending zing after zing down my legs I was so ready to punch the guy. I've never had an epidural hurt before and this was awful. I was so mad!
Addy kept asking my sister if he was here yet so I sent her this picture. She loves doing this sign with us. It's so sweet.
The rest of the day was spent feeling absolutely miserable. By 11:30 I was only at a 5. The epidural was working alright. I could still feel every contraction but it wasn't hurting. My left leg was definitely more numb than my right but since I wasn't in pain I just chose to ignore it. The last thing I wanted was that guy back in the room adjusting and possibly re-administering the epidural. I tried to sleep but I just felt miserable. It was a really crappy feeling and I couldn't communicate what was wrong. I wasn't necessarily nauseous, I didn't have a splitting head ache or anything. I just felt plain crappy. I spent a few hours trying to sleep and couldn't. Scott was so sweet. He held my hand and rubbed my back and sang to me. It was a really special experience for me. He had given me a blessing as soon as pitocin got started but I asked for another one. He blessed me with the strength and the endurance to be able to finish this labor process and bring our baby into the world. It was very comforting to me.
After a couple hours of this, I started feeling more than just pressure with contractions. They were hurting again. So I called my nurse and we pushed the button that shoots an extra dose in. I felt it numb my left leg super fast and the rest of me didn't change much. It barely took the edge off. But again, it was manageable and I was not about to invite the anesthetist back. My nurse suggested that I turn to my other side. When we did this I felt an overwhelming wave of nausea and grabbed for the barf bag (thankfully I had one close because my nurse had gotten it just in case while we did the IV). I don't think I have ever puked so violently. Luckily my stomach was empty of anything but water so it wasn't awful that way. After this I felt a lot better for about half an hour. And then the indescribable misery returned. I couldn't get comfortable. I know, I know. I was in labor. Labor isn't supposed to be comfortable. But I couldn't even get halfway comfy. I have never felt that miserable during labor. Even with Addy when my epidurals straight up didn't work, I didn't feel this miserable. The hardest part was my inability to describe what was wrong. Even if they had medicine that could help, it wouldn't matter because I didn't know what was wrong with me. At this point it was about 2:45 and I was at a 7.
I decided again that we could try pushing the button and redosing the epidural. This time it offered no relief. It numbed my left leg even more (seriously I had ZERO control) and that was it. And...I threw up again. I was so miserable. I became frustrated and Scott ran his fingers through my hair while I cried. I was so frustrated and ready to be done. I thought for sure that this labor would be fast, and it was just dragging on. I was exhausted and upset. We said a prayer together that our nurse would know what to do to help me.
At 3:50, shortly after our prayer, she came in and suggested that we drain my bladder and check me again. At this point my contractions were really hurting and I hoped that this would all be over soon. You guys, this may be TMI but it's a birth story so, you know, you asked for it, my bladder was SO full. She kept saying that it was coming and coming. Then she checked me. All day she had been saying that baby was still SO high. I kept telling her that with my last two I got to an 8 and then within half hour I had a baby. I was so hoping for this but she was so doubtful because he was still so high. At 4:00 I was at a 9, and I knew that it would be minutes.
I told her to call the doctor, but she was still slightly hesitant. I said, "Ok, I want to push. Check me again!" And she didn't even have to. She could see that he was ready to be born! So the doctor was called and at 4:18 Ethan came into this world. My second birth where I felt everything. It was lovely (hear the dripping sarcasm?), and I was so glad it was short. However, he didn't really cry. He let out one big squawk and then he kept kind of grunting. Dr. Jones listened to him and said that he sounded pretty good. Maybe a little wet, but he thought it was because of how quickly he was born and said to watch but that he would probably be fine. I was relieved. They did suck him out and got some liquid but everyone seemed fine with how he was doing. They weighed and measured. He was 20.5 inches and 7 lbs 14 oz. My biggest baby yet! Kid's got some shoulders...
He was so squishy! And he immediately tried to suck his thumb. It was so sweet!
His daddy, of course, loved him right away!
We just stared at him and soaked it all in. However, his oxygen saturation wasn't quite where they wanted it. They wanted it above 90% and he was hovering in the high 80's. We weren't worried, but we kept the little light sensor thing hooked up while I nursed him and snuggled him and sang to him. It never hit 90. I didn't know what any of this meant, but I could tell my nurse was a little nervous.
Trying to convince him to breathe. He was so drowsy and calm. Kind of scarily so...
And then...shift change. They brought in Robyn, my nurse for the night. She took Ethan to the warmer with Scott and gave him a sponge bath. Then she noticed that his breathing was weird...I can't remember what word she used, but basically he was having to work so hard to breathe that he was having to use his stomach muscles. She called the head nurse at the NICU and asked her to come observe while I showered. Then she got me into the shower with Scott while the nurse observed Ethan. She said that yes, his breathing was kind of labored and the worry was that he may get tired because he was having to work so hard (80-100 breathes per minute instead of the desired 20-40), but to just watch him and she didn't think he needed to be in NICU. I was relieved and told her the plan sounded great.
All cozied in and warm.
At this point it was around 7:00 or so. I had told Addy that she could hold her brother "today" so I sent Scott to get something to eat and get the kids. Ethan and I got into the mother and baby unit and Robyn took my vitals. Then we went to do his and his lips were looking very purple. She asked me if it was okay to go to NICU now and I consented. She was sort of in a hurry so she asked me if I could walk. I was still sort of shaky, especially my left leg, but I told her that I could do it. I said a prayer in my head that I'd be able to make it and that Ethan would be fine. On the way, Robyn told me that she thought they'd just need to give him oxygen through a mask and observe him but that he would be just fine and this was just precautionary.
We got to the NICU and a nurse introduced herself and started giving Ethan oxygen. His saturation jumped up very quickly and I remember being so relieved. I was busily texting my mom and Ali letting them know yes, we are going to NICU but he's fine. Texting Scott and telling him that we probably shouldn't bother getting the kids tonight. Calling to tell Scott to call Ali and tell her to give the girls some ice cream and tell them to please be patient and they'd hold their brother tomorrow. Calling my mom to tell her what was going on. The whole time the nurse was giving oxygen. Then she grabbed a stethoscope and started listening to his lungs and counting. I stepped to the side where I could still see him but wouldn't be disturbing her listening.
Then I could tell that something went wrong. The nurse started to look worried and concerned and called another nurse over, telling her to page respiratory. The second nurse said that the respiratory team was in another room and couldn't come right now. They were saying that he had diminished lung sounds (whatever that meant) and they looked more and more concerned. I was starting to get worried. I was trying to relay this to my mom and wondering when I should call Scott and tell him that dinner had to wait when all of a sudden the first nurse said, "He's not coming out of it!" And the second nurse started chest compressions. All of the monitors were beeping and I could see that his oxygen was below 50% and his heartbeat was 30 something (couldn't see the whole screen). I started sobbing and hung up on my mom (oops).
I hurried over to the bedside and sat down in the little rocking chair. Then 20 nurses ran into the room and surrounded the bed. I texted Scott "Get here now please." And I prayed. I've never prayed so hard in my life. I started to wonder in that moment if I would go home with a baby. Maybe this was why this whole "I'm going to have a boy" thing didn't quite seem real or why I hadn't dreamt of my baby. I started to wonder if those few times those last couple of weeks where I realized he hadn't moved all day were preemptive to this. I was terrified. Scott came in looking lost and I yelled his name. He came and stood by me and I told him what had happened. He was calm and collected but I could tell that he was worried. Later he told me that he was on his way back from dinner and asked the nurses where the NICU was. They said they were having an incident in the NICU and that he would have to wait. There was an alarm going off. Scott told them he would prefer not to wait but would if he needed to. It didn't occur to him that our baby was the incident. Then he got my text and showed the nurses and said, "We're going now." They had shown him in but not told him where I was. Again, it didn't occur to him that the twenty nurses in action and waiting were standing around his son. His son had been fine half an hour before.
I was so scared that night. Everything the doctors told me was a blur. They had paged the NICU pediatrician and he was there but he was using words I didn't understand and I wasn't able to figure this out. I didn't understand why they were doing a chest x-ray. What were they looking for? And then Dr. Jones walked in. My nurse had called him and he had come up. I was so relieved to see him. We had a friend come help give a blessing. It was a miracle and a wonderful blessing. Dr. Jones was able to explain everything to me. They did a chest x-ray to see if he had fluid or meconium in his lungs. They took all the blood they did to test for infections. He would need to stay 48 hours on antibiotics to start treating that potential infection while the cultures grew. Dr. Jones told me he thought that Ethan was fine and that his whole incident was caused by him just choking on some amniotic fluid that he couldn't get out. I looked him in the eye and asked him if Ethan was going to die. I was so scared and worried and I knew that he would be honest with me, no matter what. I trust him. He assured me that he would be fine. I felt so much better.
Holding him before heading to bed.
I headed down to my room to get some rest. Scott was worried and anxious and knew that I would be too so we prayed together and then Scott headed to NICU for his first father/son campout. :)
All hooked up in NICU
Scott sent me this picture :)
After that everything kept looking up. Ethan's breathing was coming down. He wasn't having to work so hard and his oxygen levels were up. He wasn't on oxygen and was holding his own. He was able to nurse and we could hold him. He had an IV but he didn't cry getting it. He slept great and was so happy and content. And SO sweet. SO sweet. We are so in love.
The next morning, I held him for hours!
He got to meet some special people :)
Ethan was visited by his sisters as well. They were immediately in love! Addy said, "Hey mom, you were right! He did come out naked!" lol. She immediately came in and unwrapped and examined him, commenting on everything! "What's that?!" (his chord). "Look at his tiny toes!" "Mom look, he has eyes and a nose and mouth!" And so on. Ellie quietly observed and sweetly talked to him. Scott took this video and I am SO glad. They are so sweet!
At the earliest the doctors said he could leave Friday morning. But then, surprise! We were let go early because he was doing so well! Thursday afternoon we were home with our baby. The girls are in love and are so happy to have their brother. I have to watch them closely, especially Grace.
When he found out he could come home, he asked for a fist bump :) lol. Okay, not really, but that's what it looked like to me!
Ethan came into this world and scared the crap out of me. Welcome to the world of having a boy, huh? We are feeling so blessed and lucky. He's amazing.
