These days it seems like every post I see on Facebook goes to one extreme or another, and post baby weight loss is no exception. You see those before and after pictures of these awesome moms who manage to keep their kids alive AND stay fit. Then you see the half naked pictures glorifying stretch marks. (insert an eye roll here). And I'm over here like: "Why can't we just settle in the middle?" Why can't we post on facebook about something other than the latest fad diet or workout plan we are on? Like, good for you. Why can't we wear clothes in the pictures we post? If you can't tell you've lost weight with clothes on, then how does it even matter?! And it's awesome that you love your post partum stretch marked body. Truly, it is. And our bodies are things of beauty. But can we all just admit it? Stretch marks are a part of the sacrifice we make to bring babies into this world. And why do we say that? Because it's a sacrifice! NOBODY looks at my inch thick stretch marks on my thighs that no amount of tanning or weight loss has faded and thinks "Man, I wish I had her beauty marks!"
Now, I realize that my beachbody and crossfit friends who read this will say that it reads like an awful lot of excuses. And you'd be partly right. Frankly, I don't care to exist in a world (of my own making, mind you) where Costco muffins, soft serve ice cream, and sour cream don't exist (and I love yogurt and greek yogurt but they ARE NOT THE SAME). I realize that if I were to quit eating sugar and refined foods my body would quit craving them. But guess what? I'm going to say it. These things make me happy. *gasp*
I believe in working out. And I do it. I walk and fitness blend to my little heart's desire. But you know what I won't do? I won't eat a different dinner than I prep for my family. I won't weigh my food in front of my 6 year old who is forming her opinions about her own body. I won't let food and how much I get to eat and when rule my life. I've tried it all guys. Cabbage soup. Portion control. Calorie counting. Keto. Macros. And maybe I just suck at it. But it took me all. day. to decide what I could eat to meet my diet's restrictions. And I did lose weight. But it wasn't a healthy place for me or my girls.
I don't want my kids to remember me dropping them off at the gym daycare for 2 hours a day. I don't want my kids to remember asking me why I wasn't eating ice cream on their birthday. I don't want my kids to remember me obsessing about my weight and only being happy with my body if I am a certain size. Do I want to be skinny? Heck yes. But guess what I want more? Time with my kids. I know some argue that if you aren't healthy and in a good place you can't love your kids to the fullest. And I get that sentiment. But it's just not for me.
Now, this is coming from a place of non-judgement. I don't think it's a bad thing for you to use a gym daycare. It's just not good for me. I don't think Beach body and cross fit are bad. They're just not right for me at this time in my life. I've got 5 kids 6 and under who will be a little bigger tomorrow than they are today. And at the end of a long and trying day of motherhood? I don't want to escape to the gym. I want to escape to Walmart and buy something I don't need on clearance, eat a free cookie, and snag a milkshake on my way home for the hubby and me. So sue me.
Those of you who manage to do the whole motherhood gig and still keep yourselves fit and trim? You're just all that and a bag of chips. And you're great. As for me? What good does it do me to be all that and a bag of chips if I can't even eat the chips? So you keep doing that. And I'll eat your chips :)
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