How is My Baby ONE??

I'm almost 2 weeks late writing this post. It's been one that has been hard for me to write! I know that sounds so silly. But I am seriously just not ready for this boy to be 1. I've cried about it more than is necessary or sane. It's been a year, guys! I'm not sure why this is so hard for me! Ethan has been a special baby. I always feel like maybe my girls are going to be jealous of him or think that I love him more. I don't. But I definitely have loved his baby-hood the most. I think I just appreciate it more as I watch how fast my other kids have grown! He's my slowest to do everything. He's been my baby the longest! He loved me more than dad longer than my girls. And he's a boy. And maybe it's because he had a scary start. I don't know. But seriously, there is just something different about our relationship. Maybe I shouldn't admit that! 

But seriously you guys. Look at his little face. I can (and do) spend an hour just looking at him. He gets "ignored" so much during the day. I have 3 other kids who demand attention and want to play and interact and he's just so self entertained and easy-going that it's easy to spend an hour without even interacting with him as he plays right by us while we do school or whatever. One of my favorite times of day is after the girls are down when we have 20 minutes with this boy just playing and giggling and getting ready for bed. He's so patient and sweet and smart. We all are totally just taken with him. I don't know how to express my emotions adequately so I'll quit rambling :)

He's so stinking cute! I love this tough and rugged face he makes. He's so somber some days!

I did a little walk down memory lane and looked at some pictures of the day Ethan was born. It bought back SO many emotions. I smiled and bawled like a baby and then bawled to my friend when she came over as I was writing this! lol. That day was so miserable. Like. Seriously. I mean, I realize that I was in labor, so it couldn't be comfy, right? But it was AW. FUL. I was begging for ibuprofen for my headache and they wouldn't give it to me. And Tylenol is just a super diluted version of a placebo! And then the whole, you know, cardiac arrest and NICU stay and all of that. My emotions were absolutely insane. Joy and love and awe at this perfect little body that I just made and then horror and fear and panic when I thought maybe it wasn't perfect and maybe I wasn't going to take my baby home. I don't know why, but I didn't share this picture when I wrote his birth story. I think one reason is that I really just detest when people post pictures on facebook of half their chest and somehow because there's a new baby on it, that's okay. And even though I was "dressed (hospital robes are such a joke lol) I felt like this one mimicked those too much. Or maybe it was just because it was so special. The first time I held that boy was just so amazing. But here it is now. I want it to be part of our family journal. That swollen little face and fuzzy little head make me want another baby almost enough to be pregnant. (Which I am not, I feel inclined to reiterate). 

This is definitely a favorite. You'd think by kid #4 we'd be over the whole "amazed at how much we can love another one" thing but I'm not. Look at Scott's face. I melt.

One of the best parts of Ethan's first year has been watching my girls with him. They cherish him almost as much as we do!

We all joked that this would probably be the last picture of the cousins that we took where Ethan was the smallest. lol. And I think he has Jamie beat now...

Ethan's birthday was so fun! We just enjoyed him and some of the things he likes to do. And he got sang to a million times and squished and squeezed and kissed millions more.

The girls decorated their own cupcakes :)

I made Ethan's cupcake in a big muffin tin. I wanted his to be special :) It was like a little mini cake smash, which was perfect because it was a much smaller clean up!

We had hot dogs for dinner. This boy ate 2. So gross. But he loves them.

His favorite present was this shape sorter. This picture makes it look like he does it. He doesn't. He just take the lid off and uses it as a hammer on everything but it makes him so happy!

He was quite funny with the wrapping paper. He took forever to get started because he felt like he was going to get in trouble!

Video overload :) Enjoy.

Once he finally dug in, he really liked his cupcake :)

This picture makes me laugh so hard! I wanted a kiss and he's taking after my dad: "Don't bother me, I'm eating!"

He was pretty sad when it was all gone! And he hardly made a mess. He's a pretty clean little boy. There wasn't even any in his seat!

Ethan is learning to walk! He can take a few steps at a time and has learned to stand up without holding onto something. He has learned to go down stairs and dismount couches and beds and such. He says "yeah!" when you ask him if he wants something and LOVES to make his sisters laugh. He'll stand up then fall down and then look around to make sure they saw him and they giggle and he does it over and over and over. He sings when he wakes up in the morning. His favorite toy is a little piano with a little seat. He sits and plays a song then hits the auto button and stands up and leads it with his little arms. He's pretty obedient. We have had our tree up for a week and he hasn't destroyed it yet! He has 8 teeth and has 2 molars and 2 others just taking their own sweet time coming in. He hardly grew the last 3 months except that he's looking less like a baby and more like a little boy. Gone are the round face and the chubby legs. He's awesome. And he's ours.

Happy Birthday Beefy baby!

Stats:
Height 29.5 inches (only .5 inches up from 9 months)

Weight 21 lbs 5 oz (only up .5 pounds from 9 months)

Head 18.75 inches (only up .25 from 9 months)

And just for fun, since this post is filled with videos already :)