How is My Baby ONE??

I'm almost 2 weeks late writing this post. It's been one that has been hard for me to write! I know that sounds so silly. But I am seriously just not ready for this boy to be 1. I've cried about it more than is necessary or sane. It's been a year, guys! I'm not sure why this is so hard for me! Ethan has been a special baby. I always feel like maybe my girls are going to be jealous of him or think that I love him more. I don't. But I definitely have loved his baby-hood the most. I think I just appreciate it more as I watch how fast my other kids have grown! He's my slowest to do everything. He's been my baby the longest! He loved me more than dad longer than my girls. And he's a boy. And maybe it's because he had a scary start. I don't know. But seriously, there is just something different about our relationship. Maybe I shouldn't admit that! 

But seriously you guys. Look at his little face. I can (and do) spend an hour just looking at him. He gets "ignored" so much during the day. I have 3 other kids who demand attention and want to play and interact and he's just so self entertained and easy-going that it's easy to spend an hour without even interacting with him as he plays right by us while we do school or whatever. One of my favorite times of day is after the girls are down when we have 20 minutes with this boy just playing and giggling and getting ready for bed. He's so patient and sweet and smart. We all are totally just taken with him. I don't know how to express my emotions adequately so I'll quit rambling :)

He's so stinking cute! I love this tough and rugged face he makes. He's so somber some days!

I did a little walk down memory lane and looked at some pictures of the day Ethan was born. It bought back SO many emotions. I smiled and bawled like a baby and then bawled to my friend when she came over as I was writing this! lol. That day was so miserable. Like. Seriously. I mean, I realize that I was in labor, so it couldn't be comfy, right? But it was AW. FUL. I was begging for ibuprofen for my headache and they wouldn't give it to me. And Tylenol is just a super diluted version of a placebo! And then the whole, you know, cardiac arrest and NICU stay and all of that. My emotions were absolutely insane. Joy and love and awe at this perfect little body that I just made and then horror and fear and panic when I thought maybe it wasn't perfect and maybe I wasn't going to take my baby home. I don't know why, but I didn't share this picture when I wrote his birth story. I think one reason is that I really just detest when people post pictures on facebook of half their chest and somehow because there's a new baby on it, that's okay. And even though I was "dressed (hospital robes are such a joke lol) I felt like this one mimicked those too much. Or maybe it was just because it was so special. The first time I held that boy was just so amazing. But here it is now. I want it to be part of our family journal. That swollen little face and fuzzy little head make me want another baby almost enough to be pregnant. (Which I am not, I feel inclined to reiterate). 

This is definitely a favorite. You'd think by kid #4 we'd be over the whole "amazed at how much we can love another one" thing but I'm not. Look at Scott's face. I melt.

One of the best parts of Ethan's first year has been watching my girls with him. They cherish him almost as much as we do!

We all joked that this would probably be the last picture of the cousins that we took where Ethan was the smallest. lol. And I think he has Jamie beat now...

Ethan's birthday was so fun! We just enjoyed him and some of the things he likes to do. And he got sang to a million times and squished and squeezed and kissed millions more.

The girls decorated their own cupcakes :)

I made Ethan's cupcake in a big muffin tin. I wanted his to be special :) It was like a little mini cake smash, which was perfect because it was a much smaller clean up!

We had hot dogs for dinner. This boy ate 2. So gross. But he loves them.

His favorite present was this shape sorter. This picture makes it look like he does it. He doesn't. He just take the lid off and uses it as a hammer on everything but it makes him so happy!

He was quite funny with the wrapping paper. He took forever to get started because he felt like he was going to get in trouble!

Video overload :) Enjoy.

Once he finally dug in, he really liked his cupcake :)

This picture makes me laugh so hard! I wanted a kiss and he's taking after my dad: "Don't bother me, I'm eating!"

He was pretty sad when it was all gone! And he hardly made a mess. He's a pretty clean little boy. There wasn't even any in his seat!

Ethan is learning to walk! He can take a few steps at a time and has learned to stand up without holding onto something. He has learned to go down stairs and dismount couches and beds and such. He says "yeah!" when you ask him if he wants something and LOVES to make his sisters laugh. He'll stand up then fall down and then look around to make sure they saw him and they giggle and he does it over and over and over. He sings when he wakes up in the morning. His favorite toy is a little piano with a little seat. He sits and plays a song then hits the auto button and stands up and leads it with his little arms. He's pretty obedient. We have had our tree up for a week and he hasn't destroyed it yet! He has 8 teeth and has 2 molars and 2 others just taking their own sweet time coming in. He hardly grew the last 3 months except that he's looking less like a baby and more like a little boy. Gone are the round face and the chubby legs. He's awesome. And he's ours.

Happy Birthday Beefy baby!

Stats:
Height 29.5 inches (only .5 inches up from 9 months)

Weight 21 lbs 5 oz (only up .5 pounds from 9 months)

Head 18.75 inches (only up .25 from 9 months)

And just for fun, since this post is filled with videos already :)

Halloween 2016!!! (That rhymes!)

We had the super lucky opportunity to spend Halloween in Utah with Shauna and her family!!! We loved every minute. I was there from Wednesday-Monday and Scott joined us Friday after work for the weekend. It was amazing to see my balancing force (outside of Scott) and spend some girl time doing girl things and kid time doing kid things. We had so many awesome adventures and I didn't take many picture because we were too busy having those adventures! 

Wednesday the kids and I arrived after an uneventful drive. And when I say uneventful I mean that nobody cried and nobody died. But holy crap Utah driving. I hate it. Hate it. Seriously you guys. Hate. It. We had some fun bombarding JJ and Shauna with our love and stories and non-stop chatter. Then we headed to Costco, blessed place! I always stock up on the essentials when I'm with Shauna. You know. Goldfish, fruit snacks, formula (for the last time in a long while!), cheese sticks (yes, I buy them in a different state...the things I do to save money *eye roll*). I love that store. So much. And it was a very pleasant trip because I made Shauna drive my van through Utah traffic. She's become one of them...

Thursday we ventured to the library to get some fun fall books to enjoy while we were there. And we happened to show up in time for a little story time and then some fun little games. They had several cute ideas and the kids loved it. Ellie built this skeleton all by herself :) She doesn't look thrilled, but I promise she loved it. Then we made some fun snacks. We're all about the food.

The boys loved playing together! It was so fun to watch them! They played this game the first couple days where they'd just crawl straight at each other until Ethan chickened out and turned around and then they'd just giggle away. I loved watching them! Oh, the adventures they're sure to have!

Shauna was amazing. That pregnant lady entertained my kids for hours that week. She was so patient and fun and energetic. And also skinny. At 32 weeks prego. I want to be her when I grow up.

Friday we painted nails. I don't know if you can see but we've got a jack-o-lantern, witch hat, frankenstein stitch, midnight stars, and a ghost.

Grace was seriously so exhausted every time it was time for bed or nap. We wore her out good! My girls all slept in the same room all week. At our house Addy and Ellie shared and Grace had her room and Ethan was still in my room (in his own bed, but still). I had been debating for a while what to do about it because I wanted my room back but I was scared to buddy Grace up with anyone. But they did so great at Shauna's house that the day we got back I put Grace's bed in the girls' room and Ethan in Grace's old room. It's been fantastic.

Saturday we went to this family fun place there by Shauna. It was AMAZING. We were there from 1-6 and we didn't even do everything! And Shauna scored us an amazing groupon so we had full access for cheap! The straw maze was probably my favorite part because we actually got lost in there! lol. Ellie still brags about the fact that Addy was lost but she and Uncle Wesley found the way out. :)

I mean seriously. How do I not just kiss this boy all day. Oh wait...I do.

The girls got to experience their first carnival rides. They were thrilled :)

Inside there was an arcade that we had tokens for from our groupon. Addy and Ellie did this one where the seat basically just vibrates you??? I don't get it. But their faces were hilariously terrified as they refused to get off...

These two kept us super busy! They like to go get 'em!

I was super excited to have my hubby back. And it was even better because we got him Friday night...when we planned this trip we planned on Saturday afternoon or Sunday because there were events Friday and Saturday night at BYU-I. Well...let's just say I was not sad at all that he didn't have those obligations and had the weekend work free...

Also worth noting is the fact that our alternator went out while Shauna was driving (I don't blame anyone...) and Scott was pretty boss and replaced it. In the middle of the night. With flashlights and a really crappy set of wrenches from Walmart. I'm so grateful he's so handy. Saved us a crap ton of money and time there so that we could still enjoy our adventures we'd planned.

Sunday we chilled and ate good roast and potatoes and dirt pudding and rested up. I also got to see some old friends from our married student ward days! It was so fun!

Monday was an amazing Halloween. I sure love my three little pigs. The big bad wolf ran away for this one but the girls' faces were so cute I posted it anyway :)

This wolf. I love him. Though he's not very big or bad...

Excuse my weird faces. I should have cropped them out but it's 2:30 in the morning and I can't care right now. I'd implode.

Got me some JJ snuggles. He loves me. I mean, I'm just saying. We facetime almost daily so I've totally earned it. And I totally milked it. I took so many snuggles from that boy!

Ward trunk or treat! The girls loved it and it was the easiest trick or treating ever!

Shauna was appalled that I wasn't planning on dressing up so she added me to her family. I somehow don't have a picture saved of them but Wes and JJ were players and Shauna was a basketball (we painted one on the belly of her shirt) and I got to wear Wesley's clothes and be a fan girl. I love my little bull! (I almost put "cub" and that would have been an embarrassingly accurate portrayal of my sports knowledge).

Seriously we had so much fun. My kids really did so well and I loved being with Shauna. Seriously we're the best of friends. We get each other. We wear each other's clothes. We laugh at each other's jokes. We eat food. We gang up on Wesley for control of the remote. We coddle each other's kids. We do each other's dirty work so we don't have to do our own. We tell secrets and reminisce. We complete each other as only we can. And I miss her every day. Even though we talk for at least 30 minutes every day...

Happy late Halloween from the Carters!

Moving On

The past couple of months have been a complete whirlwind of emotions, decisions, pro/con lists, prayer, fasting, research, and changes. Seriously, it's been completely insane. I've felt overwhelmed, underwhelmed, whelmed, you name it (10 points for that movie reference). I've been sad, happy, elated, nervous, anxious, scared, resistant, and then excited and happy all over again. 

Pretty good build-up, huh? The jury is out. Scott has taken a new job with a company in Idaho Falls called ATS Inland Northwest. They program the electronic HVAC (Heating Ventilation and Air Conditioning) equipment in commercial buildings.  So, basically, big buildings get built, electrical work gets done, and then Scott will go in and tell the parts when to move and work. You know, things like what times the air comes on, or motion sensors that kick the air on when the room is in use, etc. I'm still a little unclear and it will be a whole new learning curve for both of us! And just when I felt like I was fluent in audio and rigging...Here he is sporting his ATS shirt. :) He may have rolled his eyes at me wanting to take a picture on his first day :) 

This decision is one that we did not make lightly. We were pretty convinced that we would be working at BYU-Idaho until we retired or died. We love BYU-Idaho so, so much. We love the mission statement. We love the spirit of the faculty and most of the staff. We love the students who apply themselves and work hard. We love the insurance, phone plan, and other perks of working for campus. And I personally LOVE President Gilbert and his wife. We are SO grateful for our time at BYU-Idaho. We grew up here :) We met and fell in love and worked for 5 years while we learned how to be married. BYU-Idaho will always have a special place in my heart and if we ended up back here someday I wouldn't be sad about it.

However, there were also some things that we found we didn't love. Things like 18 hour Fridays and Saturdays, students texting Scott at all hours of the day and night, 7 day work weeks (Fall semester is the worst...there's a lot of stake conferences Scott has to work on Sundays), and some other things. Now, some of these things just come with the territory. Like, hi, you're an audio engineer. You're gonna work long days and late nights. Duh. I don't live in a fantasy world where everything is perfect and everything goes my way. I realize that jobs are jobs. Even if you love what you do, you're still obligated to do it, which isn't always fun. I mean, I get it. And I realize that for an audio engineer this is pretty much the best gig ever. Because, you know, there's no topless shows in your venue and it's steady employment instead of freelance and all that. I realize all of this. But the flip side is this: Scott and I chose to work at BYU-Idaho because we felt like we could do his dream job and still uphold the principles of the gospel and the family traditions that we cling to. If we didn't get this job, we probably wouldn't have pursued a career in this industry. Scott wanted to use his talents to serve the Lord and this was how he felt he could do that. And it was such an amazing start to a career. He worked with the best equipment and some of the best people. But, sadly, there were some things that were going on that hindered our ability to put family first rather than aiding it. 

For example, despite the fact that university policy dictates Monday nights untouchable so that families can have an evening alone together, performing arts departments scheduled rehearsals and Scott or his students were required to be there. I don't want to sound entitled here, but working at a church school where the president of the university frequently preaches about FHE and the importance of non negotiable family time, we were disappointed with the lack of respect for this policy that supports the teachings of our apostles and prophets. Then there was the clashing schedules of 4 kids and their dad. Their free time is on the weekends. That's when they can stay up late and watch a movie with dad. And that was Scott's busiest time. There were so, so many days where he didn't even see the kids. Gone before they were up and home far after they went to bed. While it works for some, and is necessary for others, this wasn't what we wanted for our family. 

ATS has already been such a blessing in our lives. First of all, they care so much about families. Like, more than I thought anyone did or would or should be expected to. For example, to offer Scott the job, they invited both of us to dinner with two of their guys and their wives. That was so meaningful to me. After an hour and a half at that table I knew more about these two men and their families than I do about anybody Scott worked with previously. I realize this is partly my own fault. I could have been more active myself and have made a commitment to do so in the future. But it was so nice to sit around that table and have it made very clear to me where these men's priorities are. Second, the job is most consistently 7-4, Mon-Fri. Every once in a while they work late to finish a project or have to spend a couple nights away working on a project with another office. But that's the exception far more than the rule. We get to have weekends! Third, at the end of this his first week on the job, Scott has told me how excited he is about how family centered this job is. They sent out a little new employee introduction about him and his supervisor asked about his family. They wanted to know how many kids we had and their ages and what we like to do with our spare time (I joked with Scott that he should tell them we took this job so we could find out lol). They wanted the guys to go home and ask their wives for ideas for a Christmas party for the employees and their wives. They all have young families and talk about their kids with each other. It has been so refreshing. 

This experience is going to be new. It's a big change. It's a shift in careers and routine and lifestyle. But it is one that we have decided to welcome with open arms. I am so grateful for Scott. He has supported me always, even when it wasn't the "cool" thing to do. He has asked my opinion and counseled with me even when it was discouraged. He has been my best friend. He has overruled my irrational tendencies and respected my strong opinions. He has worked so hard to always be there for the kids and me, even when work made it near impossible. And he has been so motivated and excited about this adventure and has smoothed over my doubts and built up my enthusiasm. It's been an amazing couple of months.

Here is a picture of Scott with the A/V department (minus some of his students). They had a nice little farewell for him. There's some great people in that picture and we are so grateful to you for everything you have taught us. 

So...here we go. Wish us luck!