Technology: Take the Bad With the Good?

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a soft spot for the movie "A Knight's Tale" (with my dad's homemade and maybe illegal version that takes out the naked bum without taking out the audio!) I love it. I can quote the whole thing. The red head in there just makes me laugh out loud and every time I watch it I mourn for all the amazing movies Heath Ledger could have made if he just would have stayed away from stupid Batman. Anyway...point is: in the movie, after being speared with a lance, William is visited by Jocelyn, who is worried about his condition. She kisses him and then pulls away when he winces (so cheesy, right?). He then explains that his dad taught him to take the bad with the good (so go ahead and keep kissing me). Seems random, right? But it relates, I promise.

Technology is so bad. It's misuse is rampant and harmful and awful. And I'm not just talking about the obvious porn and unlawful downloading. I'm talking about the constant need to feel connected all. the. time. The inability to conduct a life away from a cell phone or laptop computer.

But technology is also so good. I can blog and my whole family keeps up with my life. I can research and learn and grow. I can keep up with other peoples' lives. I can order diapers straight to my door (aww, yeah).

I love my phone. I'll just be honest here. I text my sister a lot throughout the day. I call my mom almost daily. I turn on the gps pretty much everywhere I go outside of Walmart, the Dollar Store, and D.I. I love that I have a decent camera in my pocket, ready to capture those moments when Ethan is giggling or Grace is wearing my high heels. I love it. It's awesome.

But do you know what I hate? The idea of cell phones. The assumption that just because I have one, you can reach me at all times and in all places. That if I don't answer, something must be wrong, you've offended me, or I don't have time for you. It's probably a safe bet that if I don't answer you, it's because I have 4 children who depend on me for everything. I have 4 children who lose my phone about 20 times a day. I am sitting outside enjoying my beautiful yard. I'm doing dishes or laundry. I'm living my life.

And if I thought my cell phone was bad? My husband's cell phone is worse. Being in charge of 14 student employees is like having a constant lifeline from you to them. The best realization ever was when we figured out how to mute a single text group haha. But it's not just the students. It's everyone. Usually Scott's phone goes to "do not disturb" mode every night at 10 and turns off at 7. This means that calls and texts, emails, and calendar reminders, while received, do not notify you. However, I've made him turn that off because sometimes (like when I'm in Spokane for a weekend or I'm about to have a baby) I find myself unable to reach him (hypocritical, right?). So lately my eyes have been opened to how much contacting gets done outside of work hours. I'm not even talking business hours because my husband doesn't work those. Like the night when, at 11:30 at night, his phone beeped in an email from some person in connection with some event he's working that's days away. Like, seriously? It's 11:30 at night and you have nothing better to do than be taking care of work emails? That couldn't wait until tomorrow? Scott obviously didn't answer, but the concept of it bothers me. Like here's something in his hand that just goes nonstop, people trying to take up his time all day long. Here's another example for you. My phone was dead. So I took his with me to the lawn mower to listen to my adult music for my hour once a week. And while I was on there, he got 3 texts, 2 emails, and a phone call. Within 10 minutes. ALL ABOUT THE SAME THING. (Call me terrible for reading the texts, but when you text my husband at 8:30 at night you should expect that I'll probably read it. Or any other time for that matter. We don't have secrets). They all said that there was a video presentation for an event that he was running the next day and that said video would be emailed to him. Really?! He didn't respond within two minutes to one person so they felt like they had to just filter down the line to make sure he got the message? Text him. One time. He will read it when he needs to. Email him. One time. He will check his email first thing when he gets to work and he will get it figured out. But 5 different memos, 3 different ways, within 10 minutes? Seems a little excessive. Or the time where he had a book texted to him on a Saturday night he wasn't working (which is rare) basically telling him about an incident that happened with a stake conference that night. With the intent to "just let you know." WHY DOES HE NEED TO KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW? Email it. Don't text it. Or text it Monday morning. Or just tell him about it Monday in your weekly meeting. Have a freaking interaction!

Just because we have cell phones should not mean that we are accessible all the time. When you get home from work, put the phone down. Pay attention to your kids, if you have them. Pay attention to your spouse, if you have one. Clean your house, read your scriptures, go to freaking bed, do some lawn work, etc. if you don't! But leave work at work. Unplug. Disconnect. Live real life. There is no emergency at work that can't wait until tomorrow. There is no conversation so great or so funny that it comes before family and friends and real life interaction. Live real life.

So forgive Scott and I if our phones are in the drawer and we are having family dinner. Because this is one time where I don't think we have to take all the bad with the good. That's the point of agency.